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SEX AND FASTING.
PART 1
As soon as I cleared out the
dinner table, I went
into the bedroom, not bothering
to say goodnight
to Kenny in the living room. I
knew he was going
to be coming to bed soon
enough. I needed him
to think I was fast asleep by the
time he came
to bed. I quickly got into the
bathroom and had a
quick shower before climbing
into bed...
I made sure I put on my long
pyjamas so there
was no way he could have easy
access to my
body. About an hour later when I
heard him climb
into bed and turn the other way,
I finally let out
the breath I was holding. I
managed to escape
the sex tonight...
By the time I woke up the next
morning, I knew
we were going to have another
round of noise
and fight and I quickly said a
silent prayer to God
for strength. I could feel his hand
roaming round
my body relentlessly and there
was no doubt in
my mind what the expected end
result to be. I
opened my eyes and took a
glimpse at the clock
on the wall. It was just 6.am. I
turned and
removed his hands from my
body and tried to get
up only to be pulled back. By the
third time of
going through the same motion,
he finally spoke
up...
''Babe, what is the excuse today?
It has been 2
weeks for Christ sake. How am I
supposed to be
happy if you won't even have sex
with me?'' He
said with obvious frustration in
his voice...
''So your happiness is now tied
to sex? You still
don't get it do you? I am doing
this for us. For
our home and our future. I told
you before I
started that this was going to
happen and you
agreed and now you want to
make me feel
guilty. Seriously I am confused...''
''Omololami, you know I am not
opposed to
prayer and fasting. I love God too
and I go to
church but you cannot honestly
expect me not to
have sex for the next 100 days
just because you
want to fast...''
I was so angry at that statement
and I flared up,
''Seriously Kenny, are you kidding
me right now?
What happened to self control?
This just shows
how far you have fallen from the
faith. Is this not
the same you that used to fast
with me all the
time before we got married? So
all that
spirituality was a lie? Did we not
court for two
years without sex? So you must
have been
cheating on me...''
''What? How can you say that?
Are you crazy?
How can you even compare both
scenarios? I
was single then now I am
married. Why did I get
married if I can't have sex...?''
''Oh so now I am a sex machine?
You married
me for the sex?'' I asked...
''You know what, I wont waste
my time having
this fruitless conversation with
you. I am warning
you for the last time. I wont take
this your
fasting bullshit and you will learn
to respect me
in this house. If this is the
rubbish they are
teaching you in church, I will ban
you from going
there...''
''You wont dare Kehinde
Ayorinde. You will not
dare. If I ever have to choose
between you and
my God, trust me, you will loose.
It is God first
and you second. That devil that is
trying to use
you, will not find a place...''
''Try me, Lola, just try me'' he said
as he walked
into the bathroom and slammed
the door...
I walked out of the room and
went into the
kitchen heartbroken. As I went
about making
Kenny's lunch that he usually
takes to work I
was so sad. I didn't understand
Kenny's
bitterness towards my
relationship with God. I
didn't expect to have these kind
of issues just 6
months after marriage. He knew
how much I
loved God and how much that
relationship means
to me and he was proving so
difficult. We even
talked about this while we were
courting and he
used to tell me how much he
loved my passion
for God. We have tried getting
pregnant for the
past 5 months and nothing has
happened and I
knew I needed to tackle it in
prayer before 5
months turned to 15 years and I
told him I
decided to join the 100 days fast
in church.
Initially, he had agreed to join me
but 3 days
after he stopped....
I didn't get offended. I decided
to do the prayers
myself, I just did not expect him
to be so bitter
about it. As I finished packing his
lunch about 30
minutes later, Kenny came out
fully dressed and
just walked past me without
picking up his food
as usual. I quickly ran after him
and caught up
with him just as he was getting
into his car...
''You didn't take your food'' I
said.
''Take that rubbish food and get
out of my sight.
I don't want your food, now or
ever until you
learn to respect me and until you
decide what is
more important to you'' he said
and slammed the
door, driving away while I stood
there mouth
agape...
We had a lot of disagreements
over sex in the
last two weeks but I had never
seen Kenny so
bitter before. I knew there and
then I needed to
pray for my home. Casting out
every demon that
suddenly possessed my husband.
…..
SEX & FASTING...
PART 2
As soon as Kehinde left for work,
I decided to
take his matter to God in prayer. I
went on my
knees and was lost in prayer for
the next four
hours.
''Father, defend me in my
marriage, cast out
every demon that has possessed
my husband's
heart''. Proverbs 21:1 says, "The
king's heart is
in the hand of the lord, he turns
it whichever
way. Oh God turn my husband's
heart away from
sex and all things of the flesh
during these 100
days of fasting, in the name of
Jesus. Towards
the end of my prayer, I suddenly
got an
inspiration from the Holy Spirit
on what to do
next.
There was no point trying to tell
Kenny he could
not have sex with me, I only had
to use wisdom
to avoid it by doing things that
will not even get
him interested. So I decided not
to have my bath
the whole of that day. I knew
how much Kenny
liked me bathing and all clean. By
the time he
got home around 7pm that day, I
made sure
dinner was ready. I could not
have been more
wrong because another
argument ensued as
soon as he came in through the
door.
''Madam, have you sorted out
your issues yet?''
he said.
''What issues Kenny? Please come
and have your
dinner''.
''Did you think I was joking? Did
you think not
taking your bath will work on
me? Or you did you
think I will not know you enough
to know that
not taking your bath is a tactic to
avoid sex?''
I was quite shocked and kind of
speechless that
he immediately realized what my
plan was.
''Kenny, please be understanding.
I need to
consecrate myself to God''. I
resorted to begging
instead.
''Lola, get it straight, I am not
asking you not to
fast. What is wrong with having
sex between
6pm that you break your fast and
midnight that
the next day starts? That is all I
am asking'' he
tried to negotiate.
''I am sorry Kenny, I don't believe
that is good
enough. I am supposed to be
consecrated for
100 days. Having sex during that
time just makes
me feel unclean''. I explained.
''What is unclean about sex
between husband
and wife babe? It is totally
biblical''
''See Kenny, you just need to be
patient. I have
just 85 days left and then we can
go back to
doing the dirty''.
''Let me tell you something Lola,
this is the last
time I will have this discussion
with you. If you
cannot find a way to balance
your marriage and
fasting, then you just might not
have a marriage
to come back to after your 100
days''.
''What do you mean by that
Kenny? God forbid
such confession?'' I said
immediately.
Kenny left me standing there and
went into the
room. My surprise was complete
later that night
when he moved most of his
things to the guest
room. I was going to beg him
but I just later
decided it was for the best if he
stayed in the
guest room for the next 85 days.
This was
probably God's way of creating a
solution for
me. I went on my knees that
night and sang in
gratitude to God for making a
way for me where
I thought there was none.
By day 60 of my fasting and
prayer, I was
officially frustrated. The joy and
excitement I got
from fasting and prayer had
gone. Kenny and I
had become total strangers in
the house. He had
not eaten my food in over 6
weeks and I was
officially worried. He had started
coming home
quite late and we did not even
talk anymore.
Every time I tried to talk to him,
he just shut me
out. We both went to work and
came back and
went into separate rooms. I did
not even know
where to start from. I knew for a
fact I had not
done anything wrong and was
just doing the best
for our marriage and I wondered
constantly why
Kenny was so blinded by
unreasonable rage. I
wondered where all the
promises of not going to
bed in anger went.
I finally reached the end of my
rope that week
when I got a text from him
around 8pm saying,
''Don't wait up for me. I wont be
coming home
tonight''.
I could not believe my eyes and I
immediately
sent him a text saying,
'' Where are you? Why wont you
come home?''
His reply made me burst into
tears. ''Please ask
the holy spirit to reveal it to you
in prayer''
My marriage is in trouble.
SEX AND FASTING. I don't know
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